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Feminism now

Last post 12-23-2003, 7:02 PM by Anais. 77 replies.
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  •  12-23-2003, 7:02 PM 4265

    Feminism now

    Subject: Re: Jane Fonda letter Jane Fonda's Speech at the National Women's Leadership Summit Washington DC >Date: Tue, 2 Dec 2003 19:15:25 -0700 >Before I turned sixty I thought I was a feminist. I was in a way I >worked to register women to vote, I supported women getting elected. >I brought gender issues into my movie roles, I encouraged women to >get strong and healthy, I read the books we've all read. I had it in >my head and partly in my heart, yet I didn't fully get it. > >See, although I've always been financially independent, and >professionally and socially successful, behind the closed >doors of my personal life I was still turning myself in a pretzel >so I'd be loved by an alpha male. I thought if I didn't become >whatever he wanted me to be, I'd be alone, and then, I wouldn't exist. > >There is not the time nor is this the place to explain why this was >true, or why it is such a common theme for so many otherwise strong, >independent women. Nor is it the time to tell you how I go t over it >(I'm writing my memoirs, and all will be revealed). What's >important is that I did get over it. Early on in my third act I >found my voice and, in the process, >I have ended up alone but not really. You see, I'm with myself >and this has enabled me to see feminism more clearly. >It's hard to see clearly when you're a pretzel. > >So I want to tell you briefly some of what I have learned in this first >part of my third act and how it relates to what, I think, needs to >happen in terms of a revolution. > > Because we can't just talk about women being at the table - it's too >late for that - we have to think in terms of the shape of the table. Is it >hierarchical or circular (metaphorically speaking)? We have to think >about the quality of the men who are with us at the table, the >culture that is hovering over the table that governs how things are >decided and in whose interests. This is not just about glass >ceilings or politics as usual. This is about revolution, and >I have finally gotten to where I can say that word and know >what I mean by it and feel good about it because I see, now, >how the future of the earth and everything on it including men and >boys depends on this happening. > >Let me say something about men: obviously, I've had to do a lot of >thinking about men, especially the ones who've been important >in my life, and what I've come to realize is how damaging >patriarchy has been for them. And all of them are smart, good >men who want to be considered the "good guys." But the Male >Belief System, that compartmentalized, hierarchical, ejaculatory, >and centric power structure that is Patriarchy, is fatal to the >hearts of men, to empathy and relationship. > >Yes, men and boys receive privilege and status from patriarchy, but it >is a poisoned privilege for which they pay a heavy price. If traditional, >patriarchal socialization takes aim at girls' voices, it takes aim at >boys' hearts - makes them lose the deepest, most sensitive and empathic >parts of themselves. Men aren't even allowed to be depressed, which is >why they engage so often in various forms of self-numbing, from sex to >alcohol and drugs to gambling and workaholism. >Patriarchy strikes a Faustian bargain with men. > >Patriarchy sustains itself by breaking relationship. I'm referring here >to real relationship, the showing-up kind, not the "I'll stay with him >cause he pays the bills, or because of the kids, or because if I >don't I will cease to exist," but relationship where you, the woman, >can acknowledge your partner's needs while simultaneously >acknowledging and tending to your own. I work with young girls >and I can tell you there's a whole generation who has not learned >what a relationship is supposed to feel like - that it's not about >leaving themselves behind. > >Now, every group that's been oppressed has its share of Uncle >Toms, and we have our Aunt Toms. I call them ventriloquists for >the patriarchy. I won't name names but we all know them. >They are women in whom the toxic aspects of masculinity >hold sway. It should neither surprise nor discourage us. >We need to understand it and be able to explain it to others, >but it means, I think, that we should be just about getting a >woman into this position or that. We need to look at "is that >woman intact emotionally," has she had to forfeit her empathy >gene somewhere along the way for whatever reason? > >And then, of course, there are what Eve Ensler calls Vagina-Friendly >men, who choose to remain emotionally literate. It's not easy for >them -look at the names they get called: wimp, pansy, pussy, >soft, limp, momma's boy. Men don't like to be considered "soft" >on anything, which is why more don't choose to join us in the circle. >Actually, most don't have the choice to make. You know why? >Because when they are real little (I learned this from Carol Gilligan), >like five years or younger, boys internalize the message of what it >takes to be "real man." Sometimes it comes through their fathers >who beat it into them. Sometimes it comes because no one >around them knows how to connect with their emotions (This is a >generational thing). Sometimes it comes because our culture rips boys >from their mothers before they are developmentally ready. >Sometimes it comes because boys are teased at school for crying. >Sometimes it's the subliminal messages from teachers and the media. >It can be a specific trauma that shuts them down. But, I can assure you, >it is true to some extent of many if not most men, and when the extreme >version of it manifests itself in our nation's leaders, beware! > >Another thing that I've learned is that there is a fundamental >contradiction not just between patriarchy and relationship, but >between patriarchy and Democracy. Patriarchy masquerades as >Democracy, but it's an anathema. How can it be democracy >when someone has to always be above someone else, when >women, who are a majority, live within a social construct that >discriminates against them, keeps them from having their >full human rights? > >But just because Patriarchy has ruled for 10,000 years since the >beginning of agriculture, doesn't make it inevitable. >Maybe at some earlier stage in human evolution, Patriarchy >was what was needed just for the species to survive. >But today, there's nothing threatening the human species >but humans. We've conquered our predators, we've subdued >nature almost to extinction, and there are no more frontiers >to conquer or to escape into so as to avoid having to deal with >the mess we've left behind. Frontiers have always given >capitalism, Patriarchy's economic face, a way to avoid dealing >with its shortcomings. Well, we're having to face them now in this >post- frontier era and inevitably - especially when we have leaders >who suffer from toxic masculinity - that leads to war, the conquering >of new markets, and the destruction of the earth. > >However, it is altogether possible, that we are on the verge of a >tectonic shift in paradigms - that what we are seeing happening >today are the paroxysms, the final terrible death throes of the >old, no longer workable, no longer justifiable system. >Look at it this way: it's Patriarchy's third act and we have to >make sure it's its last. > >It's possible that the extreme, neo-conservative version of Patriarchy >which makes up our current Executive branch will over-play its hand >and cause the house of cards to collapse. We know that this new > "preventive war" doctrine will put us on a permanent war footing. >We know there can't be guns and butter, right? We learned >with Vietnam. We know that a Pandora's box has been opened in the >Middle East and that the administration is not prepared for the >complexities that are emerging. >We know that friends are becoming foes and angry young >Muslims with no connection to AlQaeda are becoming terrorists >in greater numbers. We know that with the new tax plan the rich >will be better off and the rest will be poorer. We know what >happens when poor young men and women can only get >jobs by joining the military and what happens when they come >home and discover that the day after Congress passed the >"Support Our Troops" Resolution, $25 billion was cut from the >VA budget. We know that already, families of servicemen have >to go on welfare and are angry about it. > >So, as Eve Ensler says, we have to change the verbs from obliterate, >dominate, humiliate, to liberate, appreciate, celebrate. We have to >make sure that head and heart can be reunited in the body politic, >and relationship and democracy can be restored. > >We need to really understand the depth and breadth of what a shift to a >new, feminine paradigm would mean, how fundamentally central it is to >every single other thing in the world. We win, everything wins, including >boys, men, and the earth. We have to really understand this and be able >to make it concrete for others so they will be able to see what Feminism >really is and see themselves in it. > > So our challenge is to commit ourselves to creating the tipping point >and the turning point. The time is ripe to launch a unified national >movement, a campaign, a tidal wave, built around issues and values, >not candidates. > >That's why V-Day, The White House Project and their many allies are >partnering to hold a national women's convention somewhere in the >heartland, next June of 2004. Its purpose will be to inspire and >mobilize women and vagina-friendly men around the 2004 elections >and to build a new movement that will coalesce our energies >and forces around a politic of caring. > >The convention will put forward a fresh, clear, and concise platform of >issues, and build the spirit, energy and power base to hold the >candidates accountable for them. There will be a diversity of >women from across the country who will participate in the mobilization. >There will be a special focus on involving young women. >There will be a variety of performers and artists acknowledging that >culture plays a powerful role in political action. There will be a >concurrent internet mobilization. Women's organizations will be >asked to sign on and send representatives to the convention. >There will be a caravan, a rolling tour across the country, of diverse >women leaders, celebrities and activists who will work with local >organizers to build momentum, sign people up, register them to vote, get >them organized and leave behind a tool kit for further mobilization >through the election and beyond. >This movement will be a volcano that will erupt in a flow of soft, hot, >empathic, breathing, authentic, vagina-friendly, relational lava that >will encircle patriarchy and smother it. We will be the flood and we'll be >Noah's ark. Anais "And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." Anais Nin
  •  12-23-2003, 7:04 PM 87516 in reply to 4265

    Feminism now

    what's "patriarchy"? I forgot the meaning of this word in this country.
  •  12-23-2003, 7:24 PM 86615 in reply to 4265

    Feminism now

    Anais! What do you know! You didn’t lose you sense of humor after all!! That was funny!! Thanks!! It was Jane Fonda who went on to musing how wonderful life in China was, and the re-education of prostitutes after the Cultural Revolution. "They lived in the countryside, where they lived like peasants and worked with their hands. As peasants do. And lived a very simple life." And later still she is talking of her commitment to pacifism. "I'm a pacifist and I would fight to the death to defend it, but I WOULD PICK UP A GUN TOMORROW … I hate violence BUT I WOULD PICK UP A GUN TOMORROW." I think people call her “stupid-anti-American-bitch”. "Вошел в интернет, как в женщину..."
  •  12-23-2003, 7:27 PM 86616 in reply to 4265

    Feminism now

    What a stupid speech....... Jane is smoking something, obviously...
    - Независимость - это когда в 20-й раз наступаешь на одни и те же грабли, а русские уже ни при чем....
  •  12-23-2003, 7:58 PM 86624 in reply to 4265

    Feminism now

    Dear Anais, I tell you what... Ignore them all... Both Jane Fonda, who would be just an ordinary aerobics instructor in a local gym if it's not her dad and her ex Ted Terner. And ignore our beloved gentlemen's comments here too. Do whatever YOU think you should do in this life and keep thinking the way YOU think, despite all that petitions, comments on petitions and somebody's else opinions on that damn petitions.... "Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac."
  •  12-23-2003, 8:04 PM 86625 in reply to 4265

    Feminism now

    quote:
    Originally posted by Alina: Dear Anais, I tell you what... Ignore them all... Both Jane Fonda, who would be just an ordinary aerobics instructor in a local gym if it's not her dad and her ex Ted Terner. And ignore our beloved gentlemen's comments here too. Do whatever YOU think you should do in this life and keep thinking the way YOU think, despite all that petitions, comments on petitions and somebody's else opinions on that damn petitions.... "Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac."
    Thanks girlessa! You are very right. And that's exactly what I'm gonna do. I wish and advise for you the same... and I know you are very good at it. Anais "And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." Anais Nin
  •  12-23-2003, 8:45 PM 87539 in reply to 4265

    Feminism now

    But it is stupid, look : I brought gender issues into my movie roles No she didn't. She played what she was told to play. She had no power in character development. behind the closed doors of my personal life I was still turning myself in a pretzel so I'd be loved by an alpha male And how does this relates to feminism ? it is her personal problem that she wanted even more money... I'm with myself and this has enabled me to see feminism more clearly What is that supposed to mean ? needs to happen in terms of a revolution. She wants revolution ? Who in a right mind would want revolution ? Revolution is always blood, death and kids without parents. we have to think in terms of the shape of the table So, she doesn't want to be at the table, she wants to change it's shape ? No dialog for this one..... I see, now, how the future of the earth and everything on it including men and boys depends on this happening. O god, another profit.... Let me say something about men: obviously, I've had to do a lot of thinking about men, especially the ones who've been important in my life, and what I've come to realize is how damaging patriarchy has been for them. I guess she doesn't realy knows anything about man Men aren't even allowed to be depressed BS And so goes the rest of this garbage full of hate for man and selfrightionest (or whatever the world is)....
    - Независимость - это когда в 20-й раз наступаешь на одни и те же грабли, а русские уже ни при чем....
  •  12-23-2003, 9:09 PM 87548 in reply to 4265

    Feminism now

    I think Jane Fonda may have spent too much time in the anti gravity chamber while filming Barbarella. That has to affect a person's mind.
  •  12-23-2003, 9:18 PM 87551 in reply to 4265

    Feminism now

    Fonda complains that in trying to please men, it has taken her to age 60 to become herself. Yet her goal is now to change men into something the majority of them are not by nature. Look at the toys most small boys instinctively choose from the shelves of the toy store, not because someone is forcing a masculine role on them but because it is the nature of the male. The majority of women also intinctively want a man to be who he is by nature. The books hidden in the drawers of their bedside tables reveal this even when their words do not. Look at the cover of every common paperback romance novel on the supermarket shelf. For great numbers of women, this is their alternative to pornography, the erotic easy to read written fantasy. The covers of these books always show a strong, dominant, and completely masculine hero with a woman in his arms, not the other way around. This does not preclude women from anything they wish to do... from ferrying the children to school to running for President of the United States. By the way, I have never suffered any disadvantage from being a woman.
  •  12-23-2003, 9:53 PM 87556 in reply to 4265

    Feminism now

    Jane Fonda’s mind represents the mentality and the mood of young people in 60-70s -- the time when everybody was protesting against something and was utterly unhappy with everything that the US Government did. I sort of understand her devotion to Feminism. In the past, women didn’t have as many rights as men had. But the time has changed, and she should realize that. Criticism alone never solves problems, unless it is constructive and reasonable. It’s too bad she hasn’t managed to evolve her perception of the world that she lives in now. I would suggest her to watch the movie “Kramer versus Kramer” (I am sure there are many others like that). Who knows that might change her thing with Feminism, and she’d start realize that men are people too.
  •  12-23-2003, 10:21 PM 87567 in reply to 4265

    Feminism now

    quote:
    Originally posted by Evgeny: and she’d start realize that men are people too.
    Maaaan... you killed me!!! Leah - it depends where you work (speaking of disadvantages). Corporate life is still a boys' club (in most cases). But if to compare a gender discrimination (who gets promoted first... on a certian level... and obviously not for his brains... but for going for beer with a boss on fridays...) on this continent and back in Russia - I'll tell you, it's a paradize here, in the USA and Canada, in comparison with what's going on "there". "There", in Russia - operations is woman's destiny :o) - you know :o) data entry... :o) Tarzan will understnad me. Here it's much better. Though... I still can't forget the remark of my ex-boss about "who's gonna keep the minutes of the meeting... the one with a manicure...." :o))) But I guess that's because I was the youngest one there... :o))))) What's really scary and it bothers me a lot - is a "reverse" discrimination. Like being a straight white male - is an obvious disadvantage nowadays. :o(((((( Don't you think so? "Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac."
  •  12-24-2003, 9:37 PM 87631 in reply to 4265

    Feminism now

    "I keep waiting to meet a man who has more balls than I do. What worries me the most is that most men are so weak. Because of that they act like they don't care and like machos - because they are too fragile inside. They're scared of confrontation and afraid of so many things. And because of this they build up their life so they have to deal with their feelings as little as possible. I find feminine men unbelievably sexy. But most men are completely incapable of getting in touch with their feminine side. What am I supposed to talk about with a man who doesn't know what it's like to be a woman?" Salma Hayek
    - Доктор, я жить буду?

    - А смысл ?

    VIV
  •  12-24-2003, 11:02 PM 87633 in reply to 4265

    Feminism now

    quote:
    Originally posted by Viktory L: "I keep waiting to meet a man who has more balls than I do." What worries me the most is that most men are so weak. Because of that they act like they don't care and like machos - because they are too fragile inside. They're scared of confrontation and afraid of so many things. And because of this they build up their life so they have to deal with their feelings as little as possible. I find feminine men unbelievably sexy. But most men are completely incapable of getting in touch with their feminine side. What am I supposed to talk about with a man who doesn't know what it's like to be a woman?" Salma Hayek
    Salma Hayek is a bad ass and a goddesss..... she hits it right on the money. The sexiest men are capable of both 'masculine' & 'feminine'. They are the most real & human & the most complete. Not to mention the most fun...and this all makes them appear strong & confident in themselves....which is sexy. Fun post Viktory L Anais "And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." Anais Nin
  •  12-25-2003, 12:38 PM 87639 in reply to 4265

    Feminism now

    poor Salma... she doesn't have anything else to talk about with her man..
  •  12-25-2003, 1:10 PM 87640 in reply to 4265

    Feminism now

    quote:
    Originally posted by pomidorchik: poor Salma... she doesn't have anything else to talk about with her man..
    "Вошел в интернет, как в женщину..."
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