May be that statistics applies only to certain situations and certain people in those situations (those who have time to waste). Besides is it thinking about any women or a particular one?...is about repulsive or attractive ones?... asleep or awake?...is about their wives, daughters or mothers? Personally, I think that life spent thinking of women every 5 sec and doing nothing but chasing women is a pretty stupid one. Women may be a nice addition to my life, and if I find a right one I might even chose to make her the center of mine. …but, I guess, then it would be Ok (and almost mandatory) to think about her ever 5 sec.

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I'll give you a little story about cheating. In the Navy, I have seen so many wives cheat on their husbands while the ship is at sea. I always thought, thank god my wife isn't like that. I went to South Korea on a six month deployment last December. In February, I found out that a soldier that I worked with back in Stuttgart had moved in with my wife and daughter and was driving my BMW. I tried to get the Army Captain to stop this affair. When I returned in May my wife told me she hated me for interferring with her new relationship and I should have just accepted her choice to move on. She then cleared out the bank account, destroyed thousands of dollars of furniture, and took my daughter away to Australia. I don't think it matters if it is a man or woman cheating, all I know is someone always ends up heartbroken. A new day has come and I am single again. I think I should marry a Russian woman next time around ;).

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Amerusmilfamily · Russian wives & husbands of US Military

quote:

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Originally posted by y8tiger: I'll give you a little story about cheating. In the Navy, I have seen so many wives cheat on their husbands while the ship is at sea. I always thought, thank god my wife isn't like that. I went to South Korea on a six month deployment last December. In February, I found out that a soldier that I worked with back in Stuttgart had moved in with my wife and daughter and was driving my BMW. I tried to get the Army Captain to stop this affair. When I returned in May my wife told me she hated me for interferring with her new relationship and I should have just accepted her choice to move on. She then cleared out the bank account, destroyed thousands of dollars of furniture, and took my daughter away to Australia. I don't think it matters if it is a man or woman cheating, all I know is someone always ends up heartbroken. A new day has come and I am single again. I think I should marry a Russian woman next time around ;).

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Damn, man, this is rough :(. Did you at least get your Bimmer back? I would not romanticize and/or idealize Russian women too much. We are all fallible human beings and Russian women are no exception. ..Roman

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Yes Roman, I kept my BMW and I am in much better spirits now. In time, I know the wounds will heal completely. I do not believe I romanticize Russian women too much. I just have always found that I was impressed by all the Russian women's attitudes that I have met and that they think differently from women of other countries. As a sailor I believe I can speak on this with a little experience. Never the less, I do agree that we are fallible human beings and I have seen the worst of it. Kevin

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Amerusmilfamily · Russian wives & husbands of US Military

Did she inform your about the separation before moving in with that guy? How had the things been between you guys before you left? Did you have any contract signed? As far as I know all the funds have to be divided 50/50 if no agreement was signed. Did you guys sign any separation agreement after that thing had happened? At first look this story stinks. But I don't know all the details. Anyway men have their rights too. And they have to fight for them. Cause you've been working hard for that money. As for Russian women - we are different. I dont' know anything about your experience with us, but we are very, very different. Let's say a girl who has a Russian background but was born in the USA usually is different from a girl who came to the US in her teen age. Also a girl from a big Russian or Ukranian or whatever city differes from her siter from some small village where they haven't seen meat in the fridge for years. I live in Toronto and I hear so often from my Canadian plas something like: "Hey, do you have any single girlfriends?" Or: "Could you find a Russian girlfriend for me? I hate Canadian ones (well, American ones...) - they are so attached with money, they are looking for guys with "Jags" and golden Visas only..." Every time I hear that I'm getting so mad! You should see those guys! In most cases it means: "I'm a freaking looser, I've been working on the same position for 5 years, I'm not taking any steps to go higher, I don't want to take any night classes cause it sucks, I'm sharing my apartment with 3 other guys or live in my parent's basement, but I want a nice Russian girl cause they all are usually good looking (at least ), hard working, intelligent, she'll share my mortgage and my debts, she'll be a good mother for my kids - cause they're just brought up this way. Yeah, and they are low maintenance and low demanding too". So, we became more careful now too. Well, some of us, at least. The rest is still searching international matchmaking websites looking for some American "prince" who usually turns out to be another looser. Please, please, please, dont' take it personal!!! I don't have anything against you! I don't know you at all, and I do believe you are a very nice person. I'm with you regarding this strory, which, I believe, stinks. I'm writing this just to say that, yes, we are hard working, ambitious, goal oriented, but kind at the same time - but it doesn't mean that we are low demanding and low maintenance. We're just reasonable. Alina Mihalna

y8tiger: Good luck w/ Russian women, or whichever other women you happen to meet. But we're all people, flawed and quite unperfect. Russian women too.

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quote:

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Originally posted by y8tiger: Yes Roman, I kept my BMW and I am in much better spirits now. In time, I know the wounds will heal completely. I do not believe I romanticize Russian women too much. I just have always found that I was impressed by all the Russian women's attitudes that I have met and that they think differently from women of other countries. As a sailor I believe I can speak on this with a little experience. Never the less, I do agree that we are fallible human beings and I have seen the worst of it. Kevin

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Well, in Russia there is a good humor fraze about sailors and husbands nad what a good husband is It goes like this : A good husband is the on who is a captain on a ocean-liner, which goes on a long cruises .

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- Независимость - это когда в 20-й раз наступаешь на одни и те же грабли, а русские уже ни при чем....

(yeah, kgb, that was really appropriate to make a person feel better)

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No Alina, There was no seperation agreement. I believed we were working at our marriage. Sure in marriage there are the hard times as well as the good times. I will tell you that after the birth of our daughter, Brianna, my ex-wife said she no longer wanted to be intimate. I asked why and her answer was that she did not want to make love to any man. I waited faithfully for two years without, as I imagined a good father and husband should do. If you know anything about sailors, that was quite a feat that I took pride in. Shortly before I left on deployment we started going to counseling. That is when I found out that she had been sexualy abused by her grandfather as a teenager. I think that would have been important to know before marriage. Never the less, I believed that we were life partners and she reassured me for months that we would work it out. Ah, but the old indian story of 'The Fox and The Scorpion' is true. She was the third wife to do the same at the beginning of the year in a small command of less than 60 people. Amazing enough the other two wives were her friends. It no longer realy matters I guess. I saw this topic and have lived to see it up close and personal. I have seen men cheat and women cheat equally. I am not perfect, but I believe I deserve better, and I believe that someday I will meet her.

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Amerusmilfamily · Russian wives & husbands of US Military

I trully hope that you will.

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Kevin!!! I wish you all the best. Seriously. Of course, you deserve it. I see the point now. It's so nice to hear that you made a lot of efforts to save your relationship, went to the concullar and tried to discuss your problems with her. Actually this is a proof of mature personality. I'm really concerned a lot about such thigs cause once I almost lost my family cause nobody wanted to make any efforts. I regret to say that your profession has and will always have a great impact on your family life. Are you guys allowed to take your families with you? Or your people are supposed to stay in the USA? I think now that may be you are right - the Russian one could be just right for you. The reason is that back in 1970-1980 a lot of our men (many more than now) in former Soviet Union were professioanl solgiers. And it was normal for their viwes to follow their husbands wherever they were sent to. A lot of my frineds were raised in army campuses (sorry, if I call them wrong) and had to change 5-7 schools because of their fathers' relocations. And there were a lot of happy families among them, by the way. When people go through many things together - it often makes them closer. So such a lifestyle doesn't seem that unusual for many Russian girls. Keep looking. By the way, there must be a lot of Russian girls in the city where you are now. They may be Russian-Germans or Russian-Jews, but still - they originate from Russia, they were raised there, they speak Russian. Do you want ot check some Russian places in Stutgard? i think it's easier to do it in person than through internet, isn't it? Anyway, I'm really sorry for you. You daughter is a cuty :):):). I wish you best of luck, really. God bless you. Alina Mihalna

kev, i hope you will too... and it is horrible to see how some of the things happened to us in the childhood (referring to abuse incident you mentioned) can affect not only our lives but lives of close to us then next generations... really sorry to hear..

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Ye Kev, me too ! Good luck !

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- Независимость - это когда в 20-й раз наступаешь на одни и те же грабли, а русские уже ни при чем....

Thank you Everyone / Spoceibo Vsem! ( reaux74, Alina, Alla, KGB, and Liona ) It was painfull and I appreciate all the kind words. The bad part is I can never enjoy listening to Shania Twain's "Your Still The One" or watch a "Crocodile Dundee" movie the same way again. Just let's all hope it never happens to any of you. As you can see I am doing better and I am even attempting to get back up on the proverbial horse. Kevin

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Amerusmilfamily · Russian wives & husbands of US Military

Kevin, I promise you. Time heals all, and eventually you WILL be able to listen to songs and watch movies you and your ex shared. You will. Just give it time.

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